The hardest conversation I’ve ever had about my vision started with 3 simple words in a chicken tender restaurant in West Palm Beach, Florida.
“Mom, I’m blind”
It was something I was dreading to say. Not because of the acceptance of saying the words out loud, but how that conversation would go. Though, I knew it was something that needed to be said.
So on May 31st of this year, I was to be in Miami to throw out a first pitch, but decided to fly into West Palm Beach (closer to where my Mom lived). Leading up I told her let’s grab lunch, and I picked one of my favorite places not far from the airport.
As I arrived, I put my cane in my bag and met her and my stepdad outside. I was a little nervous of how this conversation was going to go, I had spoken with my therapist for weeks about it.
The nerves came from one place. Reactions. My mom and I have not always seen things eye to eye; she’s a much more animated person than I am. So I wasn’t sure how she would take the news. Would she accept it for what it is or throw herself to the floor crying? I honestly wasn’t sure, and it filled me with anxiety.
I had hid my blindness from her and my stepdad for a few years at this point. But I knew this was a conversation that no matter how she reacted had to happen in person.
So it did.
As we sat down over lunch the conversation of why I was in town came up. I explained I was there to throw out the first pitch at the Marlins game later that day. And the reason why… the bucket list. And well the reason for the bucket list…”Mom, I’m blind”.
The words I had been holding back, out there in the open, inside this chicken finger restaurant.
There were no tears, no loud gasp. Just questions. Though, mostly from my stepdad. He asked how much I can see, I explained light transitions, and even made a joke about my cane and how it’s my fast pass to get on flights before anyone else.
Still today, my mom is a little quiet about it all. She’s said it’s hard to imagine and I understand that, no parent wants to hear bad news about their child.
I had been nervous for a long time leading up to that day. It’s a big thing to drop in someone’s lap and especially when you aren’t sure how they would react. And in reality, those nerves were for nothing.
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