Throughout life, we have conversations that in the moment, seem fleeting but can hit us days, years, or even decades later. For me, I recall one conversation with my dad that, at the time, I thought I understood. In reality, I didn’t grasp its true meaning until about 2 years later.
Back in 2019 or early 2020, my dad was sick, fighting kidney disease and undergoing dialysis. Being retired, he didn’t get out much except for doctor visits, dialysis sessions, and outings with me. So, I suggested, “Why don’t we sell your SUV and I’ll drive you around?” My morning work schedule made it feasible for me. I remember my dad's response: he refused, saying getting rid of his car would feel like a loss of independence.
Less than a year later, my dad passed away. Shortly after, I found myself facing similar medical issues: kidney failure and eye problems. Though our situations differed in some aspects - my dad never pursued a kidney transplant, and his eye issues were milder - I began to understand his perspective.
In December 2022, while my wife was driving, I suddenly broke down in tears as we passed a post office. She asked what was wrong, and I confessed, “I can’t drive anymore. It’s over; it's not safe for me or anyone else.”
Those words took me back to the conversation with my dad, and suddenly, his earlier words made perfect sense: it was indeed a loss of independence.
As a teenager, obtaining a set of keys and the freedom to drive anywhere was eagerly anticipated. Yet, with a few simple words, that freedom vanished for me.
It’s a harsh reality to accept. Consider the simplicity of saying to yourself, “I’m hungry; let’s get a burger.” For most, it's a matter of jumping in the car and going. For me, it’s no longer that simple. I now must ask my wife if she's hungry or arrange for an Uber. We often take such luxuries like driving for granted, assuming they’ll never be taken away. I know I did.
Through this experience, I’ve come to understand independence on a deeper level. Even after his passing, my dad continues to teach me valuable lessons as I follow in his footsteps.
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